Top Ten Lists 2006 - Collin's 10 Classics and 6 Cursed

20th Century Fox
Category: action
Available: In Theatres
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2006 was a disappointing year for me and my love of cinema. I saw a film that represents all that is shallow and mediocre about mainstream cinema (Crash) win the Best Picture Oscar, I saw a sequel that took a good franchise into the depths of redundancy (Pirates), become the biggest film of the year, and I had to go overseas to see the best film of the year (see below).

Of the 126 films I saw in cinemas this past year, I was mostly under whelmed. I had a tough time finding 10 films I loved but I still managed to do it. I also absolutely hated very few films, but still managed to find some that drove me crazy.

The Best

10. Night Watch

Okay, this Vampire epic was released in Russia a number of years ago but it only came out in this hemisphere in 2006. It’s grandiose in its scope and intimate in its delivery. How long do I have to wait for the sequel Day Watch which is already a huge hit overseas?

9. V for Vendetta
The revolution was never so charming.

8. Son of Man
This little film about Jesus is set in modern day Africa. It is riveting and inspirational like most so-called “Christian” movies never are.

7. The Departed
Like Little Miss Sunshine, it’s a crowd pleaser that actually delivers. This is great cinematic fun with the best ensemble of the year. I’d venture to say it is Scorsese’s best although I know how controversial a statement that will be.

6. Hard Candy
A rough, unlikely ride that is made so strong by a couple of the best performances of the year.

5. Shortbus
Never has porn been so moving, sweet and real. Actually it is facetious to call this film porn. It does what few films have ever accomplished; make onscreen sex feel real and meaningful.

4. Superman Returns
Last year it was Narnia. This year the film that was based on source material I loved in my childhood and realised exactly as I imagined it is Superman Returns. This ultimate Superhero movie may have been too emotional for those who want their superheroes stupid and shallow, but that makes it even more satisfying for me.

3. The Proposition
My favourite downer film of the year. This is the western that punched me in the gut and made me love it. A bitter little Christmas card that is entirely gut wrenching and entirely worth it.

2. Little Miss Sunshine
Clever, original and poignant, this, the funniest film of the year, manages to never fall into sentimentality. You leave loving life despite how crappy it can be.

1. Children of Men
Cuaron’s vision of our society crumbling is powerful in the hope it offers. Beautifully written, filmed and performed this was easily the most wonderful film of the year. Very rarely does a film this perfect play the multiplex.

The Worst …in no particular order

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest
This film may not be as bad as the rest on this list but in many ways it is worse for taking the legacy of a very good movie and ruining it by being so lame, unfunny, repeatative and not in the least bit clever and original. Worst of all, this film made Johnny Depp tedious. One more "Savy?" and I may never be able to stand him again.

This remake of a cult classic inverts the values of the original into a fear mongering, misogynist mess that is entirely predictable. Any idiot could see from the beginning that the women of the island are all a bunch of evil bitches. Why couldn’t Nicholas Cage?

Snakes on a Plane
How hard can it be to mill mindless fun out of run away snakes in coach? It should have been a riot but these incompetent film makers couldn’t even manage to make this no-brainer any fun.

This mess manages to pack every Hollywood cliché into one ridiculously short film. Bad performances, silly dialogue and one of the most predictable scripts of the year make this an unwatchable disaster of a disaster film. A good argument for why remakes suck.

World Trade Centre
Is this most disappointing because it's such schmaltzy crap or because the once great Oliver Stone has degenerated into this kind of mess?

The Very Worst:

Neither gory, frightening nor disturbing, this simpleton’s idea of scary is easily the worst film of the year and the most disappointing. It’s hard to decide if the worst thing about this film is that it bores or that it communicates an underlying message of xenophobia.

Review By: Collin Smith

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