Kingdom of Heaven - As Boring as History Class

20th Century Fox
Duration: 145min
Category: action
Available: On DVD
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How do you know who the bad guy is in an overblown, revisionist-history epic (a la Braveheart)? The bad guy is the one who acts Gay!

This movie pushes every one of these sorts of clichés in its attempt to be Gladiator 2. Ridley, you should have just made Gladiator 2. It would have been a better flick.

There is too much (boring) story to fit into the film's long running so the film makers skip over too much to get into the meaning of anything that's happening. Instead it's all about pretty scenery, poorly choreographed battle scenes and a forced, unbelievable romance. The movie tries to be everything without ever really succeeding.

It’s too bad too as there is a good message about those who turn to war to solve problems at the expense of peace.

The audiences that like this sort of drivel won’t see that meaning anyway.

Finally, in 2005 Orlando Bloom proved he's no leading man. He doesn't have the charisma or presence to be anything more than window dressing. This film, along with his other 2005 film Elizabethtown prove that.

Review By: Collin Smith

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