Kiss Kiss Bang Bang - Please Die, Please

Duration: 103min
Category: action
Available: On DVD
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Itís rare that I want my money back after seeing a film. Even if itís bad at least I have the experience. But after seeing Kiss Kiss Bang Bang I was so offended by bad film making that I felt like demanding I get my $10.95 back.

Maybe I should have expected it. Kiss Kiss Bang Bang stars two of the most washed up has beens around Robert Downey Jr. and Val Kilmer. Still, they were both good actors once so I hoped that one day they might be again.

Also, the film was written and directed by the writer of such trash as the Lethal Weapon movies and The Long Kiss Goodnight, but Kiss Kiss Bang Bang is a step down even from those.

Whatís really wrong with Kiss Kiss Bang Bang? Well, it tries to be a smart revision of the buddy cop action formula but ends up succumbing to all the worst of that genre instead. In its attempt to be witty in its dialogue but it ends up clumsy and ridiculous. It tries to have hot, Tarantino style action but ends up seeming unbelievable and over-boiled. It tries to be chic film noir but looks like something made for TV.

The plot is a twisted (and boring) mess which makes no logical sense. The mystery hinges on a dead woman wearing no panties but anyone with half a brain can see that this ďclueĒ doesnít tell you any of the details that the heroes supposedly get from this. Itís maddening how lame the mystery turns out to be.

The worst part is how gad awful offensive it is. Val Kilmerís character is gay and most of the humour from the movie comes from this. Oh, how hilarious, two men are kissing, ha, ha, ha! This is 2005 for crying out loud. How insecure about oneís sexuality does one have to be to find this kind of crap funny?

Then there is all the sexualization of the violence towards women. Sure this kind of misogyny is popular in this age of multiple CSIs but come one. How small does oneís penis have to be to find this stuff appealing?

Donít get me wrong. I love a good politically incorrect joke as much as the next. Itís that this stuff is so last generation. Modern audiences are so far beyond this kind of humour. Itís about bad and lazy writing.

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang is the kind of movie that makes you angry; angry that you spent you money on it, angry that you wasted your time in it, and angry that anyone else would ever have to endure it. If you can avoid this film, do it. Even see The Island instead. Whatever you do, avoid Kiss Kiss Bang Bang like the plague.

Review By: Collin Smith

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