Fantastic Four Rise of the Silver Surfer - Fantastic Failure

20th Century Fox
Duration: 92min
Category: fantasy
Available: On DVD
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I am sure that longtime fans of The Fantastic Four are pretty depressed. The first movie sucked and now the second is really lame. Let me count the ways:

Dr. Doom
This character is so over the top that he becomes a joke. But we learned that in the first film. In this film, the problem is that he runs around with no point. Did the actor have a contract they had to fulfil? He steals the Surfer’s “board” for “ultimate power” but the downside is that he and everyone he wishes to dominate will all die. If he’s such an evil genius he wouldn’t behave like this.

This threat is far too big for these four to take on. It takes the Surfer to do it. It’s like these guys are all out of their league or in someone else’s movie. This is a Superman level villain and yet a flaming guy, see through girl, stretchy dude and rock guy are supposed to stop him? I guess that explains why they through in Dr. Scenery Chewer so they didn’t look completely incapable.

Jessica Alba
She’s not as hot as the press makes her out to be. Here she looks like she roasted under the tanning bed for far too long. Also, she can’t act. Not that this script gives her much of a chance to. All they have her do is whine about not getting her perfect wedding and pouting because her fiancé is more concerned about saving the world than about their wedding plans. Her selfish character is an insult to women everywhere. The Invisible Woman? What kind of message is that?

The Rest of the Cast
Okay, not to be too hard on Alba, there isn’t a lot of talent in this film. The cast are all C or D lists. X-men has Oscar winners and A-listers. This is all the Four get.

The Surfer himself
I don’t care what the die hard fans say. A silver guy flying around on a surf board is a lame idea for a character. Regardless of that he’s rendered here with the quality of a video game. He looks stiff and ridiculous. The biggest problem is that there is no justification for his character’s motivations. He could have saved the world a long time ago and just didn’t. The lame “inspiration” this movie gives is pretty thin and will make your eyes roll.

They should stop this insult to the long time fans before it continues. It’s not like the movie audiences are really all that interested. It’s not like fans were lined up for this for months. There was just nothing else worth seeing this opening weekend.

Review By: Collin Smith

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